Our Most Wretched Wonderous Show

 "Hey, fellah," a hoarse voice said.  "Hey fellah, you dead?"

I squinted one eye open.  Oh god.

Hurt, hurt everywhere.  I was pain in a body.

 "Whu thu hell?" I slurred.  I fumbled and pushed myself up.  I was in a field.  Tall grass waved in the sunlight.

No.  I was in a cemetery.  Under a tree in a cemetery.

I was under a tree in a cemetery, next to an old man with a shovel.  

A bird tweeted jovially at it flitted by.

 "The fuh?"  I said.

 "That's what I was wondering.  You look like you got one heck of a story," the old man rasped.  He took a canteen off his belt.

 "Thirsty?" he said.

I realized my tongue felt like a roll of gauze.  I grabbed the canteen and drank.

It could have been piss for all I could taste, but my tongue started to deflate immediately.

 "So what's the story, young man?" he said.

There was a painful stretch of silence.

I had no idea what the story was.

The old man sighed.

 "Lemme guess.  I'm bettin' you and a bunch of clowns got a hold of Shady Dave's moonshine," he said.  

"So you went rip-snortin' around, wandered down the tracks to my 'yard, then went and passed out right on ol' Lady Reynold's grave."

I glanced sideways.

The gravestone right next to me read: Lady Reynolds, May 1819 - June 1922.

A fresh grave!

I staggered to my feet and successfully lurched off the grave before falling back down and upchucking.

 "Hey now!  Have a bit of respect!" the old man said, prodding me further away from the grave with his shovel.

 "Harry?  Is Minette wit' ya?" I heard the voice say somewhere to my left.

 "Randy?" I said, carefully getting back to my feet.

Oh Good Lord, Hallowed be thy Name, I was hungover.  What the hell did we drink?

Randy sat up.  I almost laughed at him, but it would have hurt too much.

 "Randy," I said as I shambled over, "correct me if I'm mistaken, but are you only wearing your hat?"

Randy looked down at himself.

 "I'm naked," he said stupidly.

 "Oooh I feel wretched," I heard Minette say.  I went over to find her lying in the grass, still wearing her feathers and sequins.

It took ages, but all six of us and our blinding headaches gathered together.

Finally, someone got clever enough to ask, "What time is it?"

 "About ten in the morning," the old man said.

We were relieved until the old man said, "You do know it's the tenth, right?"

An entire day and night!  We were passed out for an entire day and night!

We heard the train whistle.

 "Dear God, they're gonna leave without us!" Minette said.

The town of Tehachapi had gathered to watch Pegosi's Fabulous Circus pulling out of the station.  Instead, they were treated to a whole different show.
 
Screaming as we ran down the tracks, we were four men in clown suits, one woman in sequins and a feather headdress, and a naked man with a hat on his head.

I do wonder, sometimes, which show they remember more.