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Signals “Greetings, puny Earthling! I come bearing gifts!”
“Is it regular? Please God, tell me it’s regular,” Walker’s voice came from somewhere beneath the Unholy Pile of Crap.
“Even better, frail human. It’s double espresso and al dente,” Yamada said.
Walker’s head struggled above a stack of paper. His eyes were bloodshot and there were massive circles under his eyes.
“Al dente?” he asked.
“Leftover spaghetti. How is Sagittarius treating you today?”
“Ugh,” he grimaced as Yamada slopped vaguely warm spaghetti into a paper bowl. “Sagittarius is galloping over my entire brain and yet all I can see is a horses’ ass.”
“I take it that the extraterrestrials haven’t flown over your telescope in the last day or so, then,” Yamada said as he cautiously passed the bowl to Walker between two paper
Izri WaitsIzri waits.
The last goat is in the pen. His mint tea had been drunk. There is no wife, no children to see after. No friends, no villagers. There is only Izri, the goat, and the desert.
The sun burns low over the dunes.
The bodies are dark and writhing with flies. Even their ravenous buzzing could not fill the silence of the desert.
But… now he hears it. A sound like talking thunder.
The advance guard had already killed everyone in the village.
Now the Romans’ true army comes.
Shooters and SnoogersLawrence’s stomach felt awful. He had everything bet on this shot. If he missed, Marvin would take everything he had. Heck, Marvin already had everything he had. But Marvin sure wouldn’t give it back unless Lawrence made this shot.
“C’mon Lawrence! You chickenin’ out?”
Lawrence scowled. He knuckled down and launched his shooter.
It hit! The last marble spun towards the edge of the circle.
“It’s a snooger!” Marvin yelled.
“No, see!” Lawrence shouted. The marble stopped just outside the chalk circle.
“I win! I win! Gimme all your marbles!”
“No! I won them before!”
Problems with the StaffThe snap and shatter of glass breaking on tile.
Soft sound of cloth falling on carpet.
Clatter of something thin and metallic hitting concrete.
A hail of small hard spheres pinging off of thick glass.
Alright, this was ridiculous. I went in.
“Stucky!” I shouted.
“Jesus Christ!” he shrieked, throwing up his hands. A porcelain angel flew through the air. I moved slightly to the left and it landed neatly in my grasp. I walked towards Stucky with my hand still raised. He was frantically pressing the button on his belt buckle. I loomed over him and suddenly jerked my hand as if to smash the angel over his skull.
“Nnnyah!” he whined, wincing into a half-crouch.
I set the angel back on its dresser. Stucky realized I wasn’t going to damage him just yet and looked at me unc
Prattling in Pi"Pie. I need a exact construct of divine mama's pie. Mama's glorious, delicious, perfumy, shepard's. Was it the potatoes? Brie cheese? Or melted spam? Ooh man! Dreaming now of coconut frostings, creamy--"
"We suppress gibberin' here."
"O wonderful cooking! I boohoo, denounce! the revolting, repulsive - ugh! - garbage which I force--"
"Prisoners repress talk."
THE MUDDAFUDDIN' END
The Calico AffairTwo horses streaked out of a cottonwood patch and clattered into the canyon.
On the back of one horse was Willie Brown, his limbs flailing helplessly as he bounced in the saddle.
On the other horse was Billie Brown, a sight of horsemanship and poorly contained rage.
Willie barely hung onto Blackie as she scurried towards home. Old nag though she was, she knew a sucker when she had one, and Willie couldn’t slow her down if he had the strength of the devil. He couldn’t speed her up, either, and this was the most gallop she ever got in her old legs.
The end of the canyon came into sight.
“We’re not gonna make it!” Willie howled.
“Shut your craw! I’ll hafta head ‘em off at the pass!” Billie shouted.
“But they’ll know! They’ll know! Oooh Saints and Sweet Mary!”
“They won’t know jackshi--!”
“Billie! Ma would beat you if she heard such profanity!”
“Shut your craaaaaaw!!&
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