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hhhhHIGH PITCHED SCREAM of excitement occurring exclusively in my head.
Wow, seriously, thank you to SilverInkblot for the suggest and LiliWrites for the feature of The Well Beast and I!
One of my very few comedies made it to the top of the daily mountain!
All the cool kids like me now!  Clearly, it will be smooth sailing from here on out.
Seriously though, even though that story is something of a formatting nightmare, I'm very grateful that other people at least thought it was funny.  My sense of humor used to be so bad that a can of Campbell's soup had greater comedic value.
Hello to my new watchers, passer-bys, and that one guy.
Thanks for hopping on my metaphorical wagon!
It's gonna be an eventful journey.
It could be horrible and we all go home embarrassed.
Or it could be totally BOSS, right?!

from TuesdayNightCompany


United States


Okay, I need help here.  I have a female main character, 1st person, who falls into instant puppy-love with a man.
Gals. Guys. PEOPLE.
What does a lady focus on when fawning over the appearance of a man?
I've got her focusing on his biceps inside his suit jacket and that CAN'T be right, right? How the heck do you describe attractive lips on a MAN?
I also wish to point out that this is a mild parody on romance literature. I want to get a little nauseating with how angelic and wonderful this guy is.
(I borrowed some romance books from the library for reference but I think I got the wrong ones because these books are naughty. I need derpy romantics, not wildly [bleep]ing each other in a back alley.)

Sample I've written so far: 

The can lights in the lobby illuminated him like the perfect specimen he was. His hair was a golden aura around his supernaturally handsome face.
“Uh,” I said, staring. His lips looked like manly voluptuous pillows [hah hah what am I even trying to say here] and I wanted to throw my face on them.
Ugh. UGH. Help me, internet. HALP.
Introvert Receives Daily Deviation by TuesdayNightCompany
Introvert Receives Daily Deviation
Yup.  That's just how I roll.  Right off the Mountain of Woohoo and straight into the Sea of Panic. 
Man, I haven't drawn any comics in ages!  I forgot how to use my Ames Lettering Guide again.  And I had to un-re-uninstall Photoshop, abandon Photoshop, and install GIMP just to post this.
Oh well, had to be done.
New story coming soon!

    The Black Hats

    Hero Arc for Protagonist: Kid


    Some story notes: Story set in Los Angeles, 1982. Kid lived with the Rigby’s, unofficially, when 7/8 years old. (She had no family — wouldn’t say why.) She knows them, they know her. Kid was also directly worked with Charles as an occasional drug runner. Kid knew that Charles was the murderer of Heaven Rigby [died 1975]. Kid ended up in foster care after being hospitalized with severe burns — Charles disappeared with some burn damage himself and was never brought to justice.


    Ordinary world: Kid attends hangs out at church with her childhood friend, Benny Rigby. They volunteer and so on. Kid dreams of being rich with no distinct idea of how to do that. Goal, false. However, it’s clear that Kid is lying to everyone about everything from her gender to the fact she’s living in an abandoned car rather than with her ultra-religious foster family. She does church activities out of fear of discovery, using her participation as a way to score meals and just to have something legit-looking to do. She’s also truant. Flaws. What Kid really needs is to have someone to love/trust and stop hiding from the truth.


    Call to Adventure: Kid meets Ken “Clobber” at an inter-faith musical event. He’s there under duress and Kid starts talking to him. He wants to start a punk band and doesn’t care who with; invites her to start a band. This unnerves Kid a little because she would need to perpetuate her lie about being a boy — it was supposed to be short-term, to protect her. At the same time, she loves to play music and seriously desires something to break her from her emotional isolation.


    Refusal of Call: Kid doesn’t have an electronic guitar and Benny doesn’t have a true drum set. This serves as a block, and money is scarce. Also, Mrs Rigby (Benny’s mom) is possessive of her children, keeping close tabs on where they go, “ever since what happened to Heaven.” Kid is getting mom’ed by Mrs Rigby too. Slipping away from her is difficult.


    Encouragement: Father MacKenzie gives Kid his old electronic guitar from his “glory days” and gets Benny a drum set on payments from a member of the church. However, this gift is given based on a misunderstanding which Kid weaves into a lie about the type of music they’ll be playing.


    Committed: Clobber scores a gig. Kid and Benny are kind of terrified, not to mention they have only half a song to play. But they’re in for it now. Clobber makes the idea of canceling sound life threatening.


    Disoriented: The first gig! Experiencing stage fright and kind of scared of the crowd, they play badly. Some neo-Nazi dicks, already causing trouble in the crowd, throw something at them and hit Benny in the forehead. A fight ensues, with the crowd picking enemies at random. Kid spots a neo-Nazi that she thinks she recognizes as Charles. The cops show up and arrest everyone who didn’t know where the back door was.

    They quickly get a reputation and start hooking up with other bands and playing more gigs. They’re also lying to everyone at home about what they’re doing with their time.

    [A lot of stuff happens between this sequence and the next step of the Hero’s Journey. Frankly, I haven’t got a clue how to smoosh the data into this. The story is episodic than a straight novel-esque deal, which puts a number of small stories in between the big spikes in the story. Which is also where some of the flashbacks occur and the threat of Charles is established. There is also comedy involving the juggling of lies. The neo-Nazi threat becomes more violent to the band directly, and the cops show up more often. Kid is terrified she has been ID’ed by the cops from her earlier arrest and badly wants to avoid them.]

    At some point, the entire band plus JJ, their drug dealer/friend/roadie, becomes fascinated with a beautiful punk groupie. At a pool party, Kid freaks out when her half-joking seduction attempts actually work on the groupie and she gets kissed by her. Kid trips into the pool and almost drowns. Dragged out by the shirt, her somewhat feminine waistline and chest scarring is revealed. The groupie accuses Kid of being gay, while the band (except Benny) doesn’t know what to think. Benny tries to get Kid to stop pretending.


    The Approach (Hero is Inauthentic): For Kid, things got bad, then they get worse. For the band, things get good. They get a signing offer and the opportunity to cut an album. But Kid is a liar liar liar and now everyone knows it. Things unravel. She fights harder to cover up her life of lies and she is disintegrating because of it. She destroys the trust Father MacKenzie had in her, rejecting both religion and his sound advice. Child services is looking for her. She outs JJ after he confesses his love to her, believing she’s a homosexual man. She feels she is being stalked by Charles and his Neo-Nazi thugs. Insomnia sets in, followed by popping sedatives like Tuinal.


    The Ordeal (Confronted): Benny’s mom finds out what they’re doing and flips the poop out. Also, in order for the band to sign and make an album, they need to sign as legal adults. This is a serious problem for Kid. She would have to sign all the right documents with her legal guardian (which is basically the State of California.) Not only is this a difficult problem, it’s exactly what she fears the most. But if she doesn’t find a way to sign, she’ll lose her band and their friendship. The friends she has become clearer and she knows they would help her. But can she take that step?


    The Reward (Reborn): She finally admits to the band and their A&R agent that she is a girl, 4 or 5 years away from being able to legally drink, and is a runaway. There is some upset and rejection, particularly from Clobber, but the A&R guy says he can fix her legal situation (though not exactly by perfectly legal means.) The band starts to think maybe they can reach their goal of being rock stars and Kid thinks maybe she can live without lying. Benny’s mom is getting talked around, and Clobber hasn’t made good on his threat to quit the band. They play a really good concert.


    The Road Back (Desperate): Kid gets a death threat from Charles. Up until this point, she has been completely silent on the matter of Charles, not mentioning her fears to anyone. If she goes to the cops, the not-exactly-legal nature of the A&R guy’s legal fix will be null-and-void. If she doesn’t go to the cops, she is likely to end up a really nasty corpse in the LA river or simply shot while performing on stage. She still doesn’t want to tell Benny about the fact that Charles is the one threatening her. [DATA: Heaven Rigby was Benny’s older sister.]
    [I also need something more in here. Some kind of greater struggle for not just Kid, but the band themselves.] Something happens that makes Clobber respect Kid as a band mate again.


    Decisive (Resurrection/Climax): The band starts to cut their first album. Things go horrifically wrong when Charles and a couple of his buddies storm the recording studio, armed with guns. It turns into a hostage situation; the band locked themselves into the recording room and Charles holds a studio intern hostage. Kid won’t let the intern get killed for her [insert callback — there needs to be some earlier example of Kid behaving cowardly regarding responsibility for others.] Kid surrenders and unlocks the door. The cops got called by the sound mixer, who escaped.

    There are several different ways the last part plays out, but the result is the same. In arguing and raging at each other, Kid and Charles reveal the truth of what really caused the burn scars on them, why Kid is an orphan, why Heaven died. Benny realizes who Charles is. Kid gets shot, the intern gets shot and killed. Charles does get killed by the police, though Benny might help with that. The remaining neo-Nazi’s get beaten half to death by the last two band mates.


    Complete: [Yeeeeeeeah, sooooooo… about this part. The ending is depressing, not uplifting at all. What I need here is a better ending. Something that makes readers get the “oh noes” and want Kid to pull out of it. I feel what I’ve got so far simply isn’t interesting enough to the reader that they would care whether Kid pulled out of this or not.]

     There’s a middling amount of press dedicated to the shooting and Kid and the degradation of punk rock. Kid is also in a huge amount of legal trouble. Kid disappears from the hospital and there is some evidence that she committed suicide by jumping into the LA river. She could barely move with all her wounds and had an active infection. If she really did jump into the LA river, her wounds alone would guarantee death by infection and contamination. Kid is believed to be dead after a month. Benny takes his rage out on his drums, joining a new band immediately and seeing success as a stage drummer/studio drummer for hire. Clobber disappears into the latest craze, crack cocaine. Justin (the bassist) just fades back into his purple haze of a life.


    Seven months after the shooting, Kid walks into Benny’s recording studio…

    [Or… not? Or maybe something else happens that the reader would actually care about? Augh.]

Hero Arc: Kid of the Black Hats
Here is my terrible Hero's Journey for my terrible story.  Using this plotting device was helpful, actually.  The story line was more... mushy... in it's earlier iterations. Now it's still depressing but an improved formula!  I've never tried to consciously use writing devices and formulas, so sorry but not sorry if this doesn't quite conform to the formula correctly.

I'm really having an awful time with this story.  I don't necessarily want it to be uplifting, but I don't want it to suck.  C&C will be appreciated.

Started writing this thanks to the workshop by illuminara
I used the Hero's Journey as written here:…

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FearlessFibreArts Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2016  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you so much for the dev watch. I am honoured!
TuesdayNightCompany Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2016
No problem.  That's some badass knitting.
FearlessFibreArts Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2016  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you so much!
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the devWatch :D
YppleJax Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the favorite on Rescue Missionary! :)
Emily-Byrd Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for taking the time to read and favorite "Meara and the Mermaid"! It means so much to me. :love:
comatose-comet Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the fave :heart:
TuesdayNightCompany Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2015
Of course.
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